Thursday, December 16, 2010

Episode 6 - 17/12/10

The cougar is out of its lair
 Gay bitchiness comes out in full force this week – Steven insults his Beaver’s tea, EggVog blames Louise for his fuckup and Dillon St Paul is being…Dillon St Paul. Paul fuckin’ Furlong took a fuckin’ break from fuckin’ filming the Rubber Bandits’ fuckin’ video to make a fuckin’ brief appearance in the fuckin’ show. And the audience breathed a collective sigh of relief as 30 years of sexual frustration is finally released through Louise’s icy lips.

As real as Louise’s stony anger face
Dani washing the dishes. Plus 6 for the post-argument guilty behaviour.

Louise’s failing memory – leaving her phone in the kitchen , like the senile old hag she is. Plus 4

Dillon St Paul’s snide “late again”. Plus 2 for just being his fabulous gay self.

Vog: “maybe it will just work itself out”, talking about Dani’s fight with Louise. Plus 7 for having the typical lad’s view.

Dani negotiating a job while on duty in another. She clearly treats her jobs as seriously as her relationships. Plus 5

Lou’s new fella’s talk of his J1. Typical SoCoDu, man. Plus 2

We know we talk about weather a lot, but…Plus 3 for finally showing that it actually rains in Dublin.

Dillon St Paul’s strut behind Susan. Plus 10. Where DID she find him and can we buy one?

Susan says they have a big fashion shoot. It’s a Big Brother contestant. That’s the Irish modelling scene for ya. Plus 3

Steven takes full advantage of his pet Beaver, sending him out to make tea. Plus 2. And to add insult to injury, he calls his tea shit. What a nasty bastard.

Vogue makes Louise the fall guy for the lost clothes. Plus 2. Fashion is bitchy.

Culchie Paul in a striped shirt and a fringe which is stuck to his forehead with gel. ‘Nuff said. Plus 2

Paul only wants Dani to come back to Wexford, get pregnant and live on the estate. Should have asked Louise. Plus 5

Louise says, “I’m so happy…for you.” It’s clear all she’s thinking is, “oh god, more tattooed freaks…I wish I could still menstruate.” Plus 5

Paul calls everyone “fucking eejits”. It’s kind of sad that he’s the smartest man in the whole show. Plus 4

As fake as Dani’s job offers
No music in 4 Dame Lane? Conveniently quiet for television microphones. Minus 3

“Hi, we’re from Dublin Ink and we want to give you a job.” FOR WHAT REASON?! Minus 619

Why are Dani and the Vogster meeting for ice cream?! Are they even friends? Minus 6

Voggy and Louise showing each other thousands of euro worth of clothes in the middle of the street. Plus 6 because that’s exactly what we’d expect from these two. But Minus 6 because in reality they’d have been robbed by a junkie.

Dani has her 21st in the Wright Venue with a load of strangers. Er…wouldn’t she have it in Wexford with her real friends and family? Minus 2. Although in fairness, if our sister had a voice like hers, we’d move our party to a different county, too.

Who goes A) all the way out to an East Wall rehearsal studio to B) disrupt a pay-by-the-hour session just to say hi? Minus 5

Jules keeps telling everyone that she’s leaving but nobody cares. They met her, what, two weeks ago? Minus 6.

Dani: “I couldn’t ask for a better crowd.” She must be referring to all the extras RTÉ hired for the occasion. Minus 8

Johnny from Dublin Ink, giving his best Apprentice impression. “You’re hired.” Minus 8. Well, that wasn’t scripted, was it?

And finally…Minus 16 for having to hear Kid Karate all throughout this episode. That is four points lost for each terrible song.

Minus 611. It’s a recession; nobody gets a job as easily as dear Dani.

And in other news, following with the trend of over-35s using Twitter, Louise now has an account. Follow her on such adventures as the trip to the post office to collect her pension, and the weekly bingo. Exciting stuff!

The comments on this blog, no matter how offensive, are aimed at the characters portrayed in the show and not the bad actors who play them. In the event that a libel case arises we would get pleasure out of seeing RTÉ prove that the show is an accurate portrayal of anybody’s life….anywhere.


  1. This made me snort(laughing) in the library, but its ok cause its excepted in the ag section.
    This blog makes my Fridays :) x

  2. You forgot to deduct points for the fact that a) Vogue tells the taxi driver she's going to "Lili's studio", like that's an address, b) puts the BT carrier bag containing the thousand euro dress into the boot, like it's luggage and wouldn't easily sit on her lap, c) adds a thousand euros to the value of the dress... once she's "lost it" it becomes the "two thousand euro dress", and d) is told by the fashion editor that they "nearly lost the shoot" because the dress was five minutes late. What does that even mean??

  3. Haha, that's hilarious Panda, good man, I was thinking the same thing. 'TO LILLIS STUDIO MERLIN, POST HASTE', cause that's programmed into all our GPS systems. Also... the WRIGHT venue? Who just 'gets' the Wright venue for their birthday, especially when they have no mates. Still though, absolutely HILARIOUS episode, none of it made sense, NONE OF IT.

  4. Also, I spotted Shane, the fella that tried to kiss Louise in the last episode, was also at the Wright Venue party. When has Dani ever even met him? Why didn't they have an awkward run-in between him and Louise and her new man? Oh RTE, such potential, wasted.

  5. when's the next episode?? This blog is the sole reason for watching it