Friday, November 26, 2010

Episode 3 - 26/11/10

Paul tries his chance at a gay bashing
This week Louise bid goodbye to her young friends for the weekend, knowing that her dodgy hip wouldn't survive the mucky fields of Oxegen. Vogue got his spot in the limelight with a DJ set at the festival. The shackles on Dani's legs were rattling from her loins' hunger for Steven before she eventually just unlocked the things and threw them at poor Paul. It all hit a climax in the form of the finest moment of Irish TV combat since Lorcan beat the shit out of Billy Meehan in Fair City nine years ago. Except this time it was on a temporary mini golf a Kildare.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Episode 2 - 19/11/10

Vogue's realisation that she stupidly left her knife in Louise's back

So this week our girls headed off to Marbella, leaving behind all sensibilities in Dublin. Gay men of the capital breathed a collective sigh of relief knowing that both Dani and Vogzilla were out of the country for a few precious days. Cici missed the trip as she was out in the smoking area of RTÉ the entire time.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Episode 1 - 12/11/12

We’ve been waiting a long time and it’s finally here so, without wasting any time, here are the airheads you will be bitching about for the next few months. Check the bottom of the post for legal jargon.

Dani: Small country girl from Wexford who has promised her juvenile yellow-headed boyfriend that she will stay faithful to him. Let's hope she can stay off the coke longer than she can stay off the unkempt Dublin male population which is just about the only thing that RTÉ has got right in this thing. Serving one has seen her watering at the eyes in a bid to keep her legs clamped shut in a bar with her wise culchie friend. After what seems like about 2 days away from her yellow headed beau it seems that poor Dani is at breaking point and resorts to leaving her shit gig in the Academy with a homosexual called Steven.

Louise: Better than you
Louise: Judging by the promo photos, there is no doubt that Louise is in fact a 40 year old woman sent to spy on the group by RTÉ bosses to ensure that the show’s budget is not exceeded. We give it at least three seasons before she is found out. In an interview with RTÉ she said she doesn't notice the camera and crew (which, let's be honest, presumably consists of at least 2 cameramen, somebody holding a boom mic over your head, a sound guy and a squad of other helpers). Point proven? Slightly prone to making exaggerated statements. (See below)

Vogue: Louise’s gay friend who once worked in construction and has a deep voice even by male standards. Now we're glad that Dani made reference to his...erm...colourful name because this will save us a lot of blog space. Can we just say that he could have chosen ANY kind of name that nearly sounded believable: Marie Claire, Elle or even Harper's Bazaar would even have been better than a word that, at the end of the day, literally means something that is fashionable at a particular time per.......wait, we guess that does in fact sum him up.

Cici: Fame whore who hangs around with a gay man and his pet beaver. Holds the title of quickest indroduction to douchebag award. We’ll be keeping an eye on her