|Steven: Keeping Brylcreem and side partings in fashion since the 80's|
So Louise was on the rag this week. Chinese food, telling her kids off and being an all around wagon made us realise that we could just about love this woman (but only for a few days a month until, of course, the inevitable menopause sets in). Herself and Vogue headed to Lahinch where he was informed that Tom was straight and was not, in fact, into him at which point Tom convinced his mom it was time to get wet. Oh, and Dani got fired...surprisingly.
As real as Dillon St Paul’s Botox treatments
Louise says it isn't like Dani to wake up early but you can tell she's thinking it isn't like Dani to wake up alone. Plus 1
Louise makes a snide comment noticing that time waits for Dani. Plus 1
Dani gets a kiss from Louise before going to work. Very maternal, Lou. Plus 3. However, Minus 1 for not wiping it off straight away like a real child would.
Oxegen was very “relaxing” for Dani. Well it would be if you’d spent the time dicking around being filmed and playing crazy golf. Plus 2
Dani getting fired. Eh, how has this not happened yet? But Plus 10 And, um, her reference to having to become streetwalker. Too obvious so Plus only 2
Dillon St Paul has a poster of Zac Efron on his wall. Plus 15
Vogue and Louise are talked to as if they are children at the meeting Plus 2.
Getting smashed is always a solution Steven. Plus 2. Just about the only thing that’s come out of his mouth that hasn’t been a total and utter shit/a penis.
Dani meets Steven, moans for less than a minute and then leaves. During this time she manages to order a pint, wolf it down and leave behind the empty glass; all without the camera noticing. - Plus 20. Girls who sleep around need a bit of Dutch courage every now and again right?
Yes! Louise’s listing of Dani’s flaws is AMAZING. Plus 15
"Sometimes you're better off alone. Look at me," says Louise.Yet later you can see her eyes lighting up and and her imagination in full swing when thinking about sexy surfer boys. Plus 1 however for the look of horror in Dani's face when she imagines herself old and alone like Louise in six hundred years time.
Also, Lou-lou has stepped up as a mother. So we presume child services have finally stepped in. (After all these years). Plus 2
Dani to Louise: “You’re not my mother”. Plus 4 to the teenager. Minus 10 because we know she actually is her mother.
Of course Steven and Beaver Boy would be shopping for records in Tower. Plus 3
Louise mentioning that Coppers is in the vicinity of her apartment. Plus 4 for a UCD student putting her location in context to a culchie.
The idea of Louise in a piss-covered wetsuit. Yes. Just yes. Plus 3
Plus 2 for typicality. Louise does all the work while Vog-roll and the rest of the lads sit back and have the craic. Well, boys will be boys.
Susan Facebook spies? Plus 10!
Vogue forgives pretty easily. Well that’s those fickle gays for you. Plus 4
Ah, painting the living room, let’s see how long it takes before Dani runs out of unemployment activities. Anyone seen her queuing to sign on in the snow yet? Plus 1
Beaver Boy and Julia have matching hair. Well we all have stuff we’ve forgotten to give back after a break up. In this case, it’s a hipster haircut. Plus 4
As fake as Vogue being an asset to Stellar magazine
Okay, so Louise is fresh out of the shower and is already wearing eye liner, mascara and eyebrow pencil and her hair isn’t even dry. Minus 4
Louise thinks Steven is “really nice”. Sorry granny, we would have accepted “nice young fella”. Minus 2
Who wears a blazer indoors?! Well the girls have clearly been told to cut down the heating bill by RTÉ. Still a Minus 3
Wow, interesting that Louise could predict exactly what time Dani would be home and have a takeaway waiting just there on the table for her. Minus 6
While we agree with Louise not wanting to pay Dani’s rent, let’s be honest, RTÉ (and by default, the license payers) pays both of their rents. Minus 5
Why does Jules use her mobile to call Beaver Boy when she's in the office? Minus 2 for inaccurate portrayal of Irish stingyness.
Vogue talks about the surfer guys getting “totty”. Yes, because Stellar has a strong following in Lahinch… West Clare Minus 2 or anywhere. Another Minus 2
"Enough talk about boys" oh Dillon St Paul, you messer. It's never enough when it comes to boytalk! Minus 2
Girls working together to convince editorial to let them do their thang in Lahinch. NO! They hate each other at this stage. Minus 2
Okay sorry, we’ve put it off for a while but how has it not yet been shown that it actually rains sometimes in Dublin. Minus 8
Actually, editors dedicating a sole meeting to fake interns let alone real ones. Minus 8
Stellar bosses making the big decision to go “into the country”. Minus 4 for not having a shocked look on their faces, a slow motion zoom out, the music from Deliverance or sending Dillon St Paul with them.
"Knowing you, you'll find something in three days," says Gay Steven on Dani's job-finding ability. After all, this guy has known her for a whole three episodes. Minus 2
Why is Cici helping Dani, a girl she met very recently, paint her apartment? Guess Cici had to get some kind of screen time to fulfil her contract with RTÉ. Minus 2
Shutupthat'sawesomewoman on Jules: "Lucky she has gone out with half the bands in Dublin"... we think she means "Lucky she's gone out with half of a band... in Dublin" Minus 2
Black Eyed Peas cover band playing in hipster haven the Twisted Pepper. Irony? Fuck, it's hard to keep up with these dickheads! Next we check out Louise's favourites, Westlife, in the Bernard Shaw. Minus 1
Only one half of the Power Pauls?! Minus 1
Total: Plus 36 – All warranted by Louise being a total bitch.
As usual, we invite you to tell us your highs and lows of this week's dishing of Fade Street.
The comments on this blog, no matter how offensive, are aimed at the characters portrayed in the show and not the bad actors who play them. In the event that a libel case arises we would get pleasure out of seeing RTÉ prove that the show is an accurate portrayal of anybody’s life….anywhere.