Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Episode 10 - 31/01/11

Dani does her best Paul impression

Just when we thought our favourite show couldn't have been given a more prestigous time slot we were delighted to learn that the girls and Vogue were on at 11:30. Seriously,  we wouldn't be surprised if it was on TG4 at 3am next Sunday.

So World War III broke out in this week’s episode: Black vs white, good vs evil, Louise vs Milena, Dani vs Keith and Cici's eyebrows vs the world. We actually think they’re getting bigger every week and will be visible from space by Easter.

We initially had reason to believe that Louise had hired Keith to kill and bury Melina under the Fade Street floorboards when the soulless monster didn't appear at work. Unfortunately, we were wrong.

As real as Melina’s lack of empathy

Plus 4 for the total look of disdain on Louise's face when Susan is telling her about the next plot twist task.

Poor Andre is told by Dani that she's not looking for anything serious. Plus 2 because that girl hasn't  properly commited to anything – ever.

Andre jokingly tells Dani her drawings are shit but Plus 3 for his awkward look that implies he was serious but passed it off as a joke. Plus 2 because Dani believed he was joking. That gullible culchie!

Why was Vog in the Science Gallery?  Maybe he thought they'd figued out how to change Ys to Xs. Plus Y, we mean 2

Gay funk stars Hercules  and Love Affair and uber-lesbian Peaches are the two acts that his Vogness says he enjoys playing! Look at him flying the rainbow flag! Plus 5

Of course Louise wants white colours because she's the Ice Queen.  Milena wants black to match her soul. Plus 5

Poor Louise is up for the cause of the student protest but is just so damn busy. We heard that one a lot. Plus 4 and, let's face it, she’s probably too old to march anyway.

Plus 5 for the communal laugh from the girls when they suggest that Dani would clean the apartment.

Cici just cuts across Vogue to tell the group about Keith.  Suppose she only has so much lung power and needs to spit it out quick. Plus 5

What’s better? "I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, love" by Dani or "You are an oxygen thief" by Keith. We’ll let you decide. No points

Susan’s 'don't cry, please'. No emotion allowed in Stellar HQ. Plus 2

Plus 50 for the whine that Louise makes when she leaves Susan's office crying. Poor girl probably hasn't shed that many tears since she witnessed Michael Collins being killed.

As fake as Susan’s kindness

Susan conveniently has a “Great little task” for the girls. Why don't they just show the producers briefing the girls on what they'll be acting out for the episode. Minus 3


Dani's colour tattoos: Does the girl want to give tattoos or design curtain patterns for rented accommodation? Minus 3

"I'm not really putting you on the spot," says Andre to Dani. Yes you are you just asked where her head was at, silly. Minus 2.

Vogue was never told why he was given such a ridiculous name. What type of mother calls her son Vog without explanation? Minus 10

Minus 3 that Vogue did not set Darragh from Trinity up with Cici. Two voices so identical are meant to be together.

Minus 50 for the now-weekly plugs of Andrew's Lane Theatre. Anthony Remedy’s poor pants must destroyed by him jizzing every time it’s mentioned.

Does Melina just disagree with absolutely everything Louise says? This would be a plus but we really don't believe that ANYBODY could be that much of an obnoxious ballbreaker. Minus 6

“Classic classy pieces” is Louise’s order when she’s talking about accessories. How is this woman employed to write for a magazine? Minus 10

Cici says that she couldn't go back to college if fees were €3,000.  If you gave up the smokes, love, you’d probably come out on a profit. Minus 5

How did Lou-bot and Mel-bot shop with all the protesting going on?  And didn't Lou say she had to miss the march so she could study? Alzheimer's much? No no, so much wrong with this! Minus 20

Casting director says its the first time he's heard his script read out loud. What? It's his script. Are they all riddlers? Minus 2

Upon seeing Dani's portfolio, her boss says it seems that she's giving commitment. Minus 2 (See second Plus point above)

Vogue's disappointment when he gets a rejection call from her casting. Minus 5 because real actors get about 3 of those a week.

As if we didn't have enough with Vogue plugging ANDREW'S LANE THEATRE. We now have Cici repeating herself about her shit non-existant club night. Minus 8 Is that seriously the best story that RTÉ could get for her?

We would say it's a little convenient that Keith happened to be in Whelans when the gals were there but that is exactly where we would expect find him most days of the week. And for that matter, is he pretending to ignore the girls or can he actually not see the production crew? Minus 10

Aaaand Dani is alone in the smoking area of Whelans why? Where’s Cici? Minus 3

You are both wrong Lou and Curvy Stellar Employee. Susan is not the boss, Michael is! Minus 8 for total lack of job knowledge.

Louise claims she stayed up all night laying out ONE A4 page. What we really want to know is who left such a technical task to a 108-year-old? Minus 6

How come Melina's attitude wasn't reported? She was just as wagony as Lou. Minus 8. The disagreeable bitch.

Total Minus 75 – The exact temperature of Melina’s heart

The comments on this blog, no matter how offensive, are aimed at the characters portrayed in the show and not the bad actors who play them. In the event that a libel case arises we would get pleasure out of seeing RTÉ prove that the show is an accurate portrayal of anybody’s life….anywhere.


  1. I think Susan has been watching a lot of Kelly Cutrone's show. 'If you want to cry, go outside.' Sigh. Nothing is original on this show. And what the hell happened? 'I'm trying to decide whether to ask you to leave, or let you go'. ?? Why would Louise get fired over something so small?

    Loved the 'oxygen thief' comment.

  2. I like the chromosomes reference. Scientific. Think my highlight this week was the 'Oxygen thief' line from Keith. Genius, whoever writes this should get an Oscar. Or fired. I'm not sure which.

  3. So just to confirm, Vogue will be DJing in Andrews Lane Theatre on Wednesday night...

  4. Sources have told me that Vogue was in the George on Sunday...

  5. Coincidentally enough, some of us were there last night. We didn't see him :(

  6. apparently he/she/it was judging a Drag show...

  7. meant to post this last week but sure better late than never.

    -10 for ultra hip dani not ever being in whealan's before.

    -20 for ultra bogger dani up in the big shmoke not going to coppers ever.

  8. Louise: "you're the boss" jesus, Louise, you're meant to be in a journalism internship. It's not that fucking hard to write a bit of copy.

    also, Keith has huuuuge pupils. and he's having a total freaker on Dani. sniffff snifffff.