Friday, November 12, 2010

Episode 1 - 12/11/12

We’ve been waiting a long time and it’s finally here so, without wasting any time, here are the airheads you will be bitching about for the next few months. Check the bottom of the post for legal jargon.

Dani: Small country girl from Wexford who has promised her juvenile yellow-headed boyfriend that she will stay faithful to him. Let's hope she can stay off the coke longer than she can stay off the unkempt Dublin male population which is just about the only thing that RTÉ has got right in this thing. Serving one has seen her watering at the eyes in a bid to keep her legs clamped shut in a bar with her wise culchie friend. After what seems like about 2 days away from her yellow headed beau it seems that poor Dani is at breaking point and resorts to leaving her shit gig in the Academy with a homosexual called Steven.

Louise: Better than you
Louise: Judging by the promo photos, there is no doubt that Louise is in fact a 40 year old woman sent to spy on the group by RTÉ bosses to ensure that the show’s budget is not exceeded. We give it at least three seasons before she is found out. In an interview with RTÉ she said she doesn't notice the camera and crew (which, let's be honest, presumably consists of at least 2 cameramen, somebody holding a boom mic over your head, a sound guy and a squad of other helpers). Point proven? Slightly prone to making exaggerated statements. (See below)

Vogue: Louise’s gay friend who once worked in construction and has a deep voice even by male standards. Now we're glad that Dani made reference to his...erm...colourful name because this will save us a lot of blog space. Can we just say that he could have chosen ANY kind of name that nearly sounded believable: Marie Claire, Elle or even Harper's Bazaar would even have been better than a word that, at the end of the day, literally means something that is fashionable at a particular time per.......wait, we guess that does in fact sum him up.

Cici: Fame whore who hangs around with a gay man and his pet beaver. Holds the title of quickest indroduction to douchebag award. We’ll be keeping an eye on her

Positives: Where Dani struggles to keep her clothes on…
Vogue, whose friend already works for the magazine gets seen first for her interview even though Louise was waiting before her. At least we know the South Dublin Caste system is still alive and kicking. Plus 1

Would MCD hire an intern that looks like a rejected member of Paramore? Probably. Plus 2
Louise to Dani: “Actually I’m kinda happy because you’re actually gorgeous and I was kinda worried I was gonna get some freak.” She’s just saying what we all fear. Plus 1
Louise and Dani instantly come to arrangement that neat freak Louise who is flawless in every way will clean the house while Dani will make toast and microwave popcorn. Now that’s what we like to see. Real student dieting. Plus 1
The girls are late for their apartment viewing directly across the road. Of course time waits for them. Plus 1
Not so much a reality thing but let’s just hope Dani NEVER returns to her home in Wexford again for fear we will have to listen to her sister speak.
Dani to yellow-headed boyfriend: “Dublin is a bigger city than Wexford Town.” Yes Dani, yes it is. Plus 1
Louise after Dani wins the coin toss: “Wow. You must be really lucky because you just got the bigger room.” Well that’s a pretty bold statement based on one incident of luck? No rating, just an observation. Still waiting to see these mythical rooms though.

Dani, being a simple county bumpkin struggles opening the bottle of bubbly. Surely anything without a ring-pull is too difficult for those from beyond the pale. Plus 2
Dani describes her kingpin boss as gorgeous. True considering the bleached headed child she has waiting for her at home. Plus 1
We’d kinda believe tha Vogue is a model  because she actually looks like she enjoys splashing around in the piss that is Bavaria on her fashion shoot. Plus 1. Would have been even more fun to see her try and drink the stuff though.

Gay Steven from Pygmalion is cool that Dani has a boyfriend. We bet he is Dani, we bet he is. Plus 1
Dani “knew” that Louise would get the internship. Between her amazing luck in the coin toss  and now this. We’re starting to think that this girl is a little bit mystical. Plus 1

Negatives: In which the girls have the power to make a train go exactly where they want it…
Louise: “What I really love about the magazine is that it’s aimed at 18 to 34-year-olds which is where I am now in my life.” See character profile. Minus 5
Louise: “Weaknesses? I don’t believe I have any.” What about your failing eye sight/memory/hip? Minus 1
Dani does have some facial piercings but you can “not see them directly”. Yes, because that blasted niqab covers one of the few body parts that is constantly exposed. Minus 1
Hands up if you’ve ever been so pleased with the first kitchen cum sitting room you've seen that you didn't even seem to think it was necessary to look at the bedrooms you would eventually be ready to tear your new roommate's eyes out over. No? Maybe you should take a leaf from Louise and Dani's book.  Minus 10
For that matter, hands up if you think you could afford a city center apartment if you were an intern. Minus 10 

Dani’s train from Wexford gets into Heuston. We’ll let you find out what’s wrong with this one. Minus 10
Establishing shot of Temple Bar followed by Dani at Shebeen Chic off Dame St. Fail. Minus 5
Wise culchie joins Dani in slagging Louise's taste in music yet appears to be in a Belgian DJ Danzel/Black Eyed Peas cover band. Minus 3

Louise found it difficult to get from her house off George’s St to Shebeen Chic…on the same street. Come on, even country folk aren’t that stupid. Minus 1
After an interview for Stellar that consisted of gems such as "Like I love fashion and that kind of thing" Louise gets the job based on an impressive reference. Is that what they call cheques from RTÉ nowadays? Minus 5

Steven and Kevin? Them guys from the bar? Always dying to get stuck into women? Really? Minus 10
On a broader scale, working in promotion and publishing does not necessarily make you interesting. It would have been more exciting if these girls were, oh we don’t know, the new clunge at PriceWaterhouseCoopersMinus 8

Total: -55 – Well should you really be surprised?

The comments on this blog, no matter how offensive, are aimed at the characters portrayed in the show and not the bad actors who play them. In the event that a libel case arises we would get pleasure out of seeing RTÉ prove that the show is an accruate portrayal of anybody’s life….anywhere.

Every week we hope to get everyone else to submit their reality bites - positive or negative - so leave us a comment


  1. One of the few pisstakes/rants about this show that completely gets it and genuinely funny to boot. This is so well written, well done! Dying to see you dissect the next few episodes :)

    also check out the webshow I'm doing on the series, like this blog with moving images. and eh not quite as clever! :

  2. This is excellent, it shall be spread far and wide. In fact I'm on Suffolk St now so might just print it out and pop it through their letter box.

  3. Thanks guys. Don't forget to add us on Facebook too. Just look up "Fade Street Index"

  4. Excellent stuff, but it could've included the moment of glory that was "congratulations".

  5. Lads, yis are confusing the two characters. If you're going to take the piss out of the continuity, you should be careful of your own.

    Love the disappearing handbag in the very first scene. Genius.

  6. Surely one does not open champagne with a corkscrew?

  7. "Harper's Bazaar", HAHA fantastic!!! Best review of it I've seen yet.

  8. By saying 'Thanks guys' you've already proven you're halfway to where the girls are stationed. That phrase did not exist in Ireland pre 'Friends' series 3. *Awesome*work*dudes*

  9. I refuse to watch that indulgent crock of shoyt so am really not in a position pass judgement on it. So I guess that just makes me naturally judgemental :)

  10. So good! I especially liked the bit about the sister's my take on the whole monstrosity at

    or at

    It was just too easy to go to town on it. They were asking for it in fairness!

  11. Kevin is so disgusting that he could only have been conceived accidentally on the set of a shoddily lit porno.

  12. I don't think I could eat the amount I want to vomit when I see their faces. Is the meant to be result of attractive people??? LOUISE WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER ME?

  13. Unreal post! "Belgian dj benzel/black eyed peas cover band!" hahaha!

  14. you do realise Vogue is a girl,yes?

  15. i think vogues her modeling pics are proof enough...
    Also might want to be noted that vogues dad passed away the night the show aired so easy on the criticism...



    Proof Dani can indeed open alcohol bottles =)

    Don't forget to check out the rest of her page lol

  18. Hi. Loving the reality tally, I take it you are Gossip Girl fans? ;) Still, it fits the medium of 'Fade Street' very well.

    -2 Dani's friend in the band is clearly the best-looking guy we've been introduced to so far, but she finds the MCD boss and Gay Steven more attractive?

    +3 Louise's face when the other girl won the coin toss. This was definitely the realest part of the episode.

    +2 Awkward conversations with people you've just met and moved in with. Scripted or not, the awkwardness was palpable.

  19. This blog is written by someone who would love to work in media BUT HAVE FAILED...sorry would like to be working full stop.Let's be honest if you had a job/mates/an other half you wouldn't spend your time writing this...I fully understand that people are gonna hate this and I think its pretty crap too but I find it more annoying that you took the time to make this.....

  20. So why are you reading it and taking the time to comment?